Your First Year with Baby

What to Expect Your First Year as a Parent

Your baby's first year will be an adventure that you will always remember.  It will be filled with lots of smiles and laughs as well as tears and challenges. You will learn alot by trial and error and remember that no two babies are alike.  Every experience will be different.

Good parenting is all about love, patience and guessing. Your baby will decide many things for you becuase of his likes, dislikes and personality.

BVut don't worry as there are many resources avaiulable these days for new parents. Some of these include:

Below you will find a guide for development milestones you can expect to see your baby cross.  Remember this is only a rough guide so don't be discouraged if things are a little slower.

Age Milestones
1 to 3 months Lift their head for a short time, move head from side to side, make arm movements and able to bring hands to their face. Can focus on items which are 8 to 12 inches away. Can turn to familiar voices. Around the second month baby will start to be able to follow object with their eyes. Will develop a smile.
4 to 6 months

Baby will start to reach for objects such as toys.  Baby may be able to briefly grip and hold toys. hand sucking.  baby will follow object more intently with their eyes. baby can start to hold their head up while on they are on their stomach.  Theu will get upset if their toys are taken off them. Around the sixth month they will start to crawl.
7 to 9 months Baby keeps hands open and relaxed most of the time. Baby will be developing the ability to move objects between their two hands.  Thumb grip will develop and can grip objects in both hands simultaneously. Around this time most babies can sit without support. They may start to walk or stand by holding onto furniture.
9 to 12 months Gives objects such as toys when asked. Can hold multi objects in their hands. They can recongnize their name and respond when called. Will start walking much more. Can wave good byes and can understand the word 'No'. Can babble. Children who are more developed can start to scribble with crayons and say a few words.

Attachment Parenting Tools

Attachment parenting (AP), a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.

Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach rooted in attachment theory. Attachment theory proposes that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal child development.

Dr. Sears' attachment tools, also known as the seven B's, is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents. The B's include birth bonding, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, bedding close to baby, belief in the language value of your baby's cry, beware of baby trainers and balance.

Dr. Sears reminds the parents of his patients that AP is a starter style, and that there could be medical, environmental, or family circumstances that could prevent parents from practicing each of the seven B's, and that they are to be a tool to get parents off on the right start. It's not to be considered a strict set of rules, but encourages responsive parents by recognizing their baby's cues and level of needs.

He again emphasizes the phrase "tool" over "steps". A tool can be individually chosen based on its usefulness, whereas a step implies that each must be used in a correct order to get the job done. He encourages parents to stick with what's working and adjust those tools that aren't. This process will help parents design their own parenting style unique to them that helps baby and parents plug into one another.


The Benefits of Baby Massage

Many cultures have used massage as part of baby care for centuries, and research shows it can have many benefits. Not only does massage enable you to learn about and respond to your baby's body language. But it is also a wonderful way to make your baby feel safe and secure by showing that he or she is loved and cared for. There are no hard and fast rules for baby massage, other than to ensure you are doing it safely.

Your baby and you will discover together what works best for you both. Please bear in mind that massage is something you do with your infant, not to your infant. It is strongly suggested you seek guidance and education on massage techniques from a qualified baby massage therapist, midwife, or other healthcare professional to ensure you are doing it safely. A ten minute massage, two or three times a week assists in strengthening the parent-infant relationship, babies love it and it can assist in alleviating baby ailments too.

In today's society, parents have heavy workloads and both their jobs and at home which can directly affect quality time spent with children. Infant massage, an age old tradition, is simple, free, can be administered almost anywhere and has a host of emotional and physical benefits for both parents and baby. A child with a strong sense of attachment is more likely to grow up confident, assured and happy.

The parent-infant attachment is rooted in the very early months of life, so by its very definition infant massage has a deep effect on the emotional well-being of the infant and can be used to attain a sense of security for the growing child. The emotional benefits of infant massage, such as quality, one-to-one loving touch, can also be experienced by fathers.


Baby Massage and its Connection to Sleeping and Thinking

The task of developing a regular and restful sleep pattern for a new baby is often an exercise in frustration and confusion for many parents. Research has shown that hospitalized infants grow more rapidly when correctly massaged. This is due in large part to the fact that massaged babies actually spent more time being quiet and calm, yet alert, and that when they did sleep, it was deep and very restful. This resulted in a more structured sleep pattern, as well as longer sleeping periods at night.

Doing a massage right after getting home from work will help a parent reconnect with baby after a hard day, and will help both baby and parent relax and unwind. Once you and the baby have developed a routine you will have a skill that will calm and quiet your upset child. There will be times when this is just what is needed; not food, not a fresh diaper, but soothing, relaxing touch that a parent can give their little one. Even when circumstances cause a change in their routine or environment, a daily massage can be the hub of your baby's night time routine and the element that helps them prepare to fall into a deep, restful, restorative sleep. In addition, learning to relax in our busy world is a skill parents need to nurture for themselves as well as for their children. Studies indicate that the positive effects of practicing infant massage are just as profound on the parent's physical, mental, and emotional well-being as they are for baby.

Infant massage has also been shown to positively benefit those infants with eating, gastrointestinal, bonding, attachment, weight gain, overall development challenges, which can also affect a baby's overall sleeping patterns. Massage also helps infants learn about their body and stimulates brain function, and the interaction between parent and child during the massage can stimulate the child's mental faculties as well, resulting in increased mental capacity.


Healthy Bedtime Routines for a Happy Child

Bedtime routines and rituals are very important for most children in establishing positive sleep patterns and in developing a sense of security and stability. Your child will benefit from a set bedtime. Pick a time for bed that is reasonable for your child and which you can consistently provide.

Establish a bedtime routine that can provide predictability and a comforting, familiar pattern. Even an understandable and structured visual pattern can assist this process and can provide reminders and consistency for the whole family.

A good bedtime routine will help teach a child to calm down, relax and get ready to sleep. However, not every technique works for every child. For example, if bathing is stimulating or frightening for your child, it's probably a better idea to do it at another time of day rather than right before you want your child to calm down and go to sleep. Incorporate activities that you know have a calming effect on your child into their bedtime preparatory routine. Keep the routine short and sweet. It should realistically only consist of four to six steps that can be completed in a reasonable time frame, not drawn out into hours on end each night.

Reading a favorite book each night, brushing teeth, having a glass of water, and saying a goodnight prayer can all be calming, soothing activities for a young child to perform each night routinely. Hugging and kissing family members is usually also an integral part of the process, of course!

There are those nights or times when circumstances prevent your child from getting to bed at their usual time. Be sure not to shortchange the process when this happens, but keep in mind that each step can be shortened significantly in order to prevent long frustrations at a time when everyone is tired.